"Families who are willing to adopt any child, particularly an older child, need to accept the child for who they are, helping them grow into successful competent adults," says Collins. "They need to accept and understand that child's sense of loss and need to heal. They need to be persistent and strong advocates for those children."
Here is a blog that seeks to share information about adopting the "older child".
On a personal note: When our son, James, came to live with us 2 years ago at the age of 7, we did not expect him to stay. It was a temporary situation. Now his adoption will be final on Dec. 1st.
I still remember the first week he was here. He slept on one couch and I slept on the other. He was scared to sleep in his room. I never dreamed that those nights of talking for a few minutes before he fell asleep would be the equivalent, in my mind, of the time spent with my newborn in the hospital. But that is exactly what they are. Treasured moments of bonding, and being just what MY child needed.
It has taken a while, but he inhabits the place in my heart that my biological children do. It took prayer. It took discipline [for me, not him], and it took conviction of my belief that "Every child deserves to hold a place in someones heart where if need be, that person would walk through a fire to get to them!"
I weep for the baby he was, the one I will never know. I love babies, everything about them! But....
A child is only a baby for a short while, but they are a human being in need of a family forever!